Pimp My Judgment "SUP DAWG?" said Alabaster Weiss, noted television ride-pimpist. He was a white man with Sublime Albinism, and was white as virgin snow in the Antarctic. "WE HEARD YOU LIKED LOLI SO WE PUT A LOLI IN YOUR LOLI." It was here that Lance Carpenter, the poor sod, gazed at his feet. "Um. How did... you guys..." "IT WAS THE EASIEST, MY FELLOW CAUCASIAN BR'ER! PROVIDED ONE INFILTRATES THE OTHER'S HOUSE IN THE MOST ILLEGAL OF FASHIONS!" Alabaster slapped Lance on the back. "ADDITIONALLY, IT SHOULD BE NOTED NEITHER LOLI SURVIVED." A vast and terrible construct trawled o
The Freaky Ice Demon Chick 3Chapter Three: Nosebleeds Are Going Around This Time Of Year Sunny flew. Not too high right now, well below the rooftops of the tallest skyscrapers in Pound's Field, but high enough to put the scare in Lil' Sophie. Sunny hadn't flown with a passenger in tow before, and though Sunny was light, she didn't want to risk her power giving out on her because of some stupid restriction she hadn't tripped yet. That meant no teleporting, either. Revenge wasn't worth dying over. Killing, though... Sophie was screaming. Still. Good set of pipes on that girl. "Shut it," Sunny said, "or I'll freeze you solid and let go." Sophie fell silent,
The Giant Christmas Spider "Hooray!" Little Timmy said, running into the living room. "It's Christmas! It's Christmas at la--" A spider the size of a Labrador pounced from the Christmas tree and sank its four-inch fangs deep into Little Timmy's chest, pumping his lungs full of venom. "Daddy," said Little Alice, "why did we put a giant spider on the Christmas tree?" The spider returned to the top of the tree, chittering softly as though laughing. Daddy chuckled as he injected Little Timmy with the antivenom. "Because your mother and I thought it was funny."
The Freaky Ice Demon Chick 2Chapter Two: The Ballad of Elric and Mel "Pardon, Jan," said Ted, "but could you slow down just a little? Not that I'm particularly inconvenienced, but Miss Katzenjammer is getting heavy..." Clio, as Jan before her, was koala'ing tight about him. She'd also fallen asleep. "Oh, pardon!" Jan said, twirling around a lamppost, "I'm just... well! Look at me!" She lept off and attempted to pirouette on landing. She just tripped over her own feet, but she was laughing all the same. "Come on, let's head to the Slightest of Nods! I mean, if you wanna.
The Story of Rosemas "That time of year has come around again," said Kim, flipping through the pages of Everett's Primer of Selected Alchemical Parables, "the season of lights and gift-giving and so on and so forth, et cetera. Now, Rosemas is of course the messy descendant of a fistful of old-god holy days, Jesu himself conflated with all the old gods of those holy days, but all that... uh, all that stuff does not dilute his teachings or his importance one bit. Listen: After a long lifetime of discovery, adventure, and miracle, Jesu of the Rosy Cross entered into the twilight of his life, having seen seventy springs and summers and winter
After all, I'm running a game called "My Lovecraft Pony: Friendship is Eldritch" at a con this weekend!
finished!
It is finished.